i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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