My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
nutella sex= disaster
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
