the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
