Screwed.edu
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
