That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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