I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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