YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
