Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
