Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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