You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
