butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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