I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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