I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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