i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
