At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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