Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
