Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
