I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
