my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's blow job season.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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