i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
