I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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