I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
When are your genitals available?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
