yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
