So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
