omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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