I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
