How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
