I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
