Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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