just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
