Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize