Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
