I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
they need to just BURY HIM!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
