What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
