Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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