I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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