His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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