Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
