i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
