Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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