think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize