Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
