Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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