Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
