Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
