Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize