i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
