I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
