if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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