we're blogging at a bar
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
