Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
