Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
