I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
