saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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