He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
