She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
