so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
