I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
