There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
