windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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