everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
