Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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