just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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