Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
