so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
