So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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