the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
